Airplane Rides (and Sex) with Strangers

Let’s be honest. I’ve spit in the holy water at one of the most sacred Catholic churches in the world, I make funny faces at my family members while their eyes are closed during Thanksgiving grace, and I’ve (unsuccessfully) tried getting off to the thought of Jesus and his mother Mary. I’m not proud, but it’s true. So when I wound up praying with a stranger on an airplane, I thought something truly important could be learned about the power of unfamiliarity. While frightening, the different experiences strangers bring to the table can be very rewarding, and not just on scary airplane rides but during new sexual encounters as well.

My nerves were already on edge when the first flight I was scheduled on was grounded due to some sort of maintenance malfunction and my next flight departed perfectly late. The terrifying trip began with suitcases falling out of overhead bins due to unusually heavy turbulence, followed by me leaving permanent nail marks in the plastic covered arm rests, and a concerning noise (that resembled what I imagine whales humping during a chainsaw competition would sound like) coming from the right portion of the aircraft.

The older woman next to me looked at me in horror. “That worries me.” Without saying another word, her watery eyes gave away her story about the arrival of a third grandchild and the recent loss of her husband.

With each bump, grind, fallen bag, and gasped breath, we appreciated. We longed for the things we already had: our beds, food, families, and even our nine-to-fives. It was as though each bump enhanced our quality of living. Put in the face of threat, our completely standard lives seemed extravagant.

The fragile older woman next to me asked me to pray with her. Normally I’d be offended by her lack of cultural awareness and her assumption that our society is as Judeo-Christian as our politicians pretend, but instead I choked down my cultural snobbery. This seemed like a sincere ask for help and my tactic of trying to claw my hands into the armrests wasn’t providing any relief.

I prayed with her. In my mind, God was a more attractive version of Alanis Morissette, skipping through the clouds and drinking white wine straight from the bottle; I prayed nonetheless.

The flight continued bumping and grinding all the way. We landed safely and all the wide-eyed passengers who were making pacts with God about all the wrongs they would right became forgetful with the smell of Cinnabon saturating the airport.

Now on steady ground, I find that the experience taught me a few things that may or may not have everything to do with sex and strangers:

When you’ve tried everything you can think of to get a desired result, and you’re still not getting the outcome you want, a new tactic can’t hurt.
You’re more willing to try something new when you realize you have no control over the outcome anyways.
When someone asks you to try something their way, it’s probably because it’s worked for them in the past, and it’s with good intentions.
Appreciation of what you’ve already got, makes what you’ve already got exactly what you want.
When a stewardess says she has a long lay over before her next flight and she likes your leather boots, she’s not just being polite.

Okay, so the last one was just to brag.

What are some life lessons that you can apply to your sex life? Post in the Comments Below!

Anne Harris

June 30th, 2010 at 10:26 pm

OMG, I’ve been on that flight, like every time I fly through Denver. Ok, learnings: Yup, “When what your doing isn’t working, do ANYTHING else.” “You can’t imagine the taste of a strawberry, you’ve got to bite it before it will surrender its, joy to you,” “When spreading jam, go all the way to the edge.” and a favorite when I screw up something, “forgiveness is the scent a violet releases to the heel that has just trod upon it.”
and why does it take panic at 30,000 feet to lead us to the reality that we’re not in control and a ride is just a ride.

Tony

November 28th, 2010 at 1:42 am

“When you’ve tried everything you can think of to get a desired result, and you’re still not getting the outcome you want, a new tactic can’t hurt.”

That is awesome; I hope you don’t mind if I use shamelessly. That’s right along side the definition of insanity: doing the same thing time and time again and expecting different results.
Awesome blog. I look forward to reading it.