The Recession Special: 5 Household Items To Get Her Off

Photo By JordanFischer

CuCUMbers

There’s “cum” in the middle for a reason, the bumpy texture and the variety of shapes and sizes allows you to pick out a perfectly desirable dildo (but you’ll need her help of course). What could possibly spice up a trip to the grocery store more? It’s romantic, cheap, customizable, and it’s guaranteed she’ll get turned on getting off for you.

Jack be nimble, but don’t be quick

If you’ve ever been curious about her brown-eye but never had the balls to try, candles are an inexpensive way to see how she’ll react to a butt plug without wasting a ton of cash. They’re cheap, relatively small, and totally disposable. Don’t forget the lube!

More than just a toothbrush

If she turned down your morning glory, maybe you’ll still have a chance to get it on before you go to work. While she’s putting on her make-up, try putting the base of your electric toothbrush above her clit playfully. The sound and feeling will evoke a Pavlovian response to the vibrator she keeps hidden under her pillow.

Some like it hot; some like it cold

This is one of the most underrated cunnilingis tips out there, the old hot/cold game. Try sucking on an ice cube before you take the dive and switch it up every now and then with some hot tea. The temperature change will leave her screaming for more.

Couch potato

Ever thought of purchasing the liberator? Don’t be an idiot! You have a couch! Try kneeling on the floor while she spreads her legs, try bending her over it, use the arm rest as a pillow while she rides on top of you, go reverse cowgirl, have her place her legs over the back of it and 69’ with her upside down, go missionary, go sideways, have her sit facing you…. You’re a creative guy; do I need to go on?  

Why Try it?

Women will find your creativity enticing and will see you as a confident and exciting partner, which will boost pleasure for both of you.

What are some creative things you’ve tried? Post below in the comments!